I’m writing here today as kind of a test… I usually just repost the newsletter from Raw from the Road here… maybe bi-monthly and most of the time, once a month. In this pause, this pandemic pause, I have been left alone with my thoughts to play in the playground like kids, kicking up sand, falling off monkey bars, fighting with each other, screaming at each other… ok, ok, you get the gist.
No doubt, many times, I felt like running out of that freaking park, away from those kids but alas… there was no where to go… but home. Home, here… home… in my mind… home… in my heart…home…in my soul.
I’ve recently created (in the last 3 weeks) a new collection of work entitled, “Aftermath.” You can see it here on my website under projects… if you’re interested. I think I have about 35 pieces, with a few more that are tugging at me to come out. I’m telling you about this because it is so tied to what I’ve been learning about myself, my life… other people even. It’s something that I doubt I could write about in this one post, so I will just share a bit about it and invite you to join me here on this journey of introspection. Perhaps you will relate. Perhaps you will hate what I am writing. However, like the kids in the park and the art pieces tugging at me, so too, are the words that need to come out. And if no one reads them, that’s find with me…if one person reads them and feels better because they relate and now feel less alone, than huzzah! I will jump for joy and do the happy dance.
As a side note, I am going through a break up right now. It’s true. I’ve been in a relationship for quite some time and finally, I told my ‘lover’ I needed a break. My lover… being social media. (except for Linkedin since there is little politics in the group and I am mostly anonymous amongst my 6k or more connections).
This break up is freeing up space in my mind… though full disclosure, I do have bouts of withdrawal. Then, I realize, that having this automatic knee jerk reaction that says “ooh I have to post that” or “that will be great to post” is really a sad commentary on my priorities and the way I have interacted with social media. I did, in fact, drink the coolaid. But I digress and will possible write a rant on that at another time.
This is more about getting honest… honest with myself… honest with others…honest about my work and my future… oh and that little rascal, my past.
Since no one will most likely ever read this, I feel especially free to write whatever the fuck I want. ha!! I cursed even! (I’m from NY, but still….)
One thing I’d like to share is…. drum roll please… or not… I created an entire series of work that I hate. Yep. I managed to spend numerous hours, used a crap load of resin, aluminum, acrylic paint, and produced an entire collection of work that never quite accomplished that completed feeling. It’s called, “What Eyes See.”
It was a good idea, merging my photography and resin work. In fact, I was pretty damn pleased with myself coming up with the idea but, uh, no, it just didn’t pan out… not in my mind. And, I have no idea why I think I have to keep merging all the mediums I work in together. WTF? Why? Did I think it would be artistically economical? Was it that I didn’t want one of the mediums to feel left out? Nah. I just thought it might be a good idea to create a piece that emulated the lens I look through to take a photograph … and then the object, creating the pupil of an eye.
Now, having written the above and seeing it right in front of me, it’s kind of NOT a wonder that this project missed the boat… or even got on the dang boat.
I know, I know…. why am I writing this about my own work, which I have worked very hard marketing, trying to sell it? Because the journey of creating the work, whether it’s seen as good or bad, is important to me to share as well.
Don’t get me wrong, these pieces are not hideous or anything, they’re just not… pieces that someone will walk in to the room and say, “I have to have that.” And if there is someone like that, FANTASTIC!! They can buy it! And you all can see it right here on this website under projects in the Mixed Media section.
It’s not like I’m going to pull them from my repertoire… because I’m not. Perhaps they’ll find homes one day and that would be great… they are still created from a place of love and a desire to create beauty. But… as we all know, beauty can be so illusive and in the perception of the… yes, beholder.
Well, I think that’s enough free writing for one day. I have so much more I want to share with… whoever might be reading these. As always, I welcome your comments… if they’re nice. Please don’t be mean… I’m very sensitive.
For now, please be safe, responsible to yourself and others…and stay healthy!
With the utmost respect and gratitude,